Of Christmas and Candy Canes
by I Double Dare You
Summary: Christmas treats come in many different forms. Sirius and Remus learn this together. Remus/Sirius. Rated for swearing and explicit sex. Oneshot.


Title: Of Candy Canes and Christmas

Pairing: Sirius/Remus and Sirius/...well that would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it? ;D You'll like it, I promise!

Rating: M – it's pretty much a PWP oneshot. I think.

Warning: Kink, rimming and inappropriate use of candy canes.

Summary: Christmas treats come in many different forms. Sirius and Remus learn this together. Remus/Sirius Rated for swearing and explicit sex. Oneshot.

Notes: It's not as detailed as the fics I usually write – I wanted it to be short and this is as short as I could get it. Woke up Christmas morning and this is what I came up with. Honestly, my perversion knows no bounds ;)

Merry Christmas, you animals.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Remus was aware that Sirius wasn't the biggest fan of Christmas.

A childhood spent in the Black household would do that to you. But that never stopped him from trying to get Sirius to have some Christmas cheer. So when he and Sirius got their own flat he tried to make Christmas the best he possibly could, setting up the brightest, most colourful tree with all manner of decorations and treats hanging from it and enlisting Lily's help in making a delicious Christmas feast that even Sirius couldn't say no to.

He also made sure to pay extra special attention to Sirius' sexual needs too. That had to be the best part. Nothing could convince Sirius Black like sex could. And Remus Lupin had always been _very_ convincing.

Sirius probably didn't know what he was doing that particular morning. Well he knew _what_ he was doing but he probably wasn't aware of _how_ he was doing it and what effect it was having on his flatmate. Remus watched silently as the tip of the candy cane almost as long as his forearm slowly disappeared into Sirius' mouth. He could see Sirius' cheeks hollow as he sucked on the Christmas treat that he'd probably nicked from the Christmas tree, but Remus actually found that he didn't quite care where Sirius had gotten it from. He could only watch, entranced, as Sirius pulled the candy cane out to apply talented little licks to the tip of it before sliding it, glistening and wet, back into his mouth. Remus almost passed out. Then he remembered that to breathe he had to let the air in his lungs back out. He slowly breathed out and in, trying to do so quietly and shifted in his seat in an attempt to allay the tightness of his pants. It didn't help.

Sirius continued reading the Daily Prophet in his lap, frowning as he perused a particular article, quite unaware of the effect he was having on the man sitting on the couch opposite him. However, he was aware of the paper being pushed out of his lap and his lap instead being suddenly full of Remus Lupin. He raised his eyebrows and grinned. From the bulge in the front of Remus' pants it seemed that his lap was full of a very _horny_ Remus Lupin. Just the way he liked him.

"Can I help you, Moony?"

Remus glared at the smug grin.

"No, I think you've done enough already".

Remus pushed against him, snogging him like there was no tomorrow. Sirius didn't quite know what had brought this on but he didn't care, he just knew that a situation that involved an aroused Remus was one that he would never have the mind to pass up. He hummed in amusement and pleasure as Remus twisted and pushed at him so he lay down on the couch with Remus straddling his thighs.

"You're such a bloody tease, you know", Remus growled against his lips as he pulled back slightly. Sirius was confused for a moment as to why he was considered a 'bloody tease' but something clicked in his mind when the candy cane was snatched out of his hand.

He snickered.

"Enjoy watching me suck something, eh, Moony, you perverted wolf?"

Remus mirrored his smirk as he admitted with something of an evil glint in his eye, "I like watching you suck some things more than others".

Remus leaned forward slightly as he undid the buttons of Sirius' shirt and then jeans, grateful that they both preferred to wear muggle clothing around their flat. Still smirking, he caught Sirius' heavy-lidded gaze as he slid the candy cane into his own mouth, hollowing his cheeks around it and coating it in as much saliva as he could.

Sirius watched avidly, his breath catching in his throat as Remus released the candy cane with an obscenely suggestive pop. Then his heart, lungs and brain seemed to have stopped working properly as Remus pressed the tip of the sweet to the hollow of his throat and then slid it down, down, down his chest, down his stomach, swirling around his navel for a few ball tingling moments and then through the hairy trail leading into his jeans. Sirius let out an embarrassing little whimper as Remus' hot, wet tongue followed the sticky trail, lapping and sliding over the deliciously minty tasting flesh as if Sirius were an enormous candy cane himself. He found himself offering his hips up as Remus pressed sweet little kisses to the smooth skin just above the waistband of his briefs before pulling Sirius' jeans and briefs down to his ankles, leaning back on his haunches to reach. He lay open and bare before Remus' intent gaze, his eyes catching repeatedly on the candy cane Remus was absently twirling between elegant thumb and forefinger.

For some reason the action was making him nervous. Remus seemed to notice his nervousness and smiled, although the smile was not exactly comforting. In fact, it was a smile that a starving animal – a wolf perhaps? - would give a particularly delicious feast. Sirius gulped.

However, he momentarily forgot about that when Remus got back down on his hands and knees and leaned forward to run his tongue from the base of Sirius' cock up to the head. Sirius let out an agonized little moan and immediately bit his lip as he heard Remus' chuckle huff against the sensitive skin of the inside of his thighs. Sirius thrust his hips up jerkily, trying to get Remus to just get on with it and he jumped in surprised pleasure when Remus readily complied. The hot, slick tongue slid over the head of his erect cock, soon followed by the silken skin of moistened lips. Sirius groaned, digging his fingers into the rough material of the couch beneath him as he tried not to thrust and buck too desperately up into Remus' talented mouth. Then said talented mouth enclosed the head of his cock completely, Remus' cheeks hollowing as he sucked at the burning flesh in his mouth, bemused gaze focusing on Sirius' flushed, agonized expression. Sirius gasped and his breathing sped up as Remus released his cock with a wet, slick sound before moving down and softly kissing and nuzzling at Sirius' balls before moving lower still.

Sirius ground out a low keen as a slippery, burning tongue flicked between his cheeks to push against his entrance. _Oh fuck_. Whenever Remus did this he was unfailingly turned into a blathering puddle of horniness. And Remus _knew it_ too. He shut his eyes tight and spread his legs to give Remus better access. He resisted the urge to knee Remus in the head when he heard him chuckle at him, puffs of air blowing across his arse. Then the tongue was back at his entrance, thumbs firmly parting his cheeks so Remus could press closer, pushing his tongue insistently against the puckered hole. Sirius found himself choking on air, and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter as he fought the urge to beg Remus to finish him off. Then Remus' tongue pushed past the tight ring of muscle and he couldn't help but gasp and whimper and writhe against the squirming muscle moving inside of him.

He vaguely heard himself begging, moaning, demanding and he knew that later he would blush and cringe at his embarassing lack of control when it came to Remus, but right then he couldn't give a flying fuck. All that mattered then was that Remus never stop touching him.

Then the tongue was gone. But before Sirius could protest most sincerely, something else replaced it. Something cold and wet and..._sticky_.

Sirius' eyes flew open and his head shot up to look at Remus in disbelief. _Surely he wasn't..._But yes, he _was_.

There Remus sat, watching his face with burning amber eyes and a knowing smirk, his hand between Sirius' thighs as he pushed the candy cane into his arse.

"Remus!", Sirius choked out, half an incredulous question and half a scandalized protest. Remus' smirk only widened into a grin.

"Fuck, and people think _I'm_ the perverted one", Sirius breathed harshly, unable to control the flex of his hips as Remus gave the candy cane a particularly hard shove.

Remus continued to grin at him as he replied evenly, "You _are_ perverted, Sirius. I'd say we're just as bad as each other".

Sirius wasn't sure he agreed. Exactly who was the one currently shoving a giant candy cane up the other's arse? But he didn't have the presence of mind or the breath to point that out at that moment, because Remus was continuing to push the sweet as far into him as it would go.

Sirius marveled at the strangeness of it. It was different to having Remus' fingers, cock or tongue inside of him. It was...sticky. It didn't slide in smoothly like Remus did; it needed more lubricant so it wouldn't pull at his skin and be quite so uncomfortable. He squirmed slightly, arse clenching around it and making the intrusion even more difficult. Remus noticed and ever the giving, thoughtful man that he was, leaned down to slide his tongue along Sirius' hole, wetting the candy cane and Sirius' entrance as it was continuously thrust in and out of him. It was easier that way and Sirius couldn't help but chuckle at the strangeness of it. Here he was, laid out on the couch, legs spread wide with a giant candy cane in his arse and his boyfriend's tongue helping it along. He was sure Remus heard and shared his laughter as he thought he heard a returning snicker from the vicinity of his groin. But just because it _was_ funny in a strange, perverse way, that didn't mean that it wasn't making him horny like mad.

Saying that he wanted to come was an understatement. He didn't want to, he _needed_ to. He twisted his fingers in Remus' soft hair and pulled it harder against him, muttering, "More", as he did so. Remus complied, moving the Christmas sweet faster and his tongue along with it. Sirius groaned loudly, pulling up sharply at Remus' hair again, uncaring of lubricant now, just needing that hot, wet friction around his cock instead. Remus complied again, sucking Sirius into his mouth with one smooth, slick movement, making him pant and throw his head back as the sensations threatened to overcome him. Then mouth and candy cane were pulling away and his fingers were being forcibly uncurled from his hair. Sirius' head shot up to stare at him in confusion and irritation. Remus didn't bother with niceties; he just sat back to unbutton and unzip his jeans to pull out his erection. It was a fairly clear sign to what his intentions were.

The candy cane clattered to floor as he let it go but neither could bring themselves to care. Remus leaned over him, cock pushing at his arse, Sirius' legs wrapped demandingly around his torso and his fingers once again twisted in his hair. Remus thrust into him abruptly and Sirius' face contorted at the burn and stretch, the discomfort still present even after being prepared quite thoroughly by the candy cane and Remus' tongue. The discomfort soon faded though after Remus began to thrust in and out of him, movements shallow at first and then deeper and rougher as Sirius began to relax around him.

Sirius arched his back as Remus pushed against his prostate, his vision blurring slightly and he heard himself crying out loudly. Remus' teeth were sinking into his shoulder, groans humming along the bitten flesh as he tried to stave off his orgasm. His thrusts were quickening and stroking deeper and harder into him. As a result, Sirius was writhing against the firm, heated body above him, fingers pulling and tugging desperately at the light brown strands as his prostate was abused repeatedly. And then Remus was moaning and reaching between them to slide his thumb over the slippery head of Sirius' cock. Sirius jerked and choked, his cry strangled and wavering as his come splattered over both of their chests and Remus' jaw clamped down on his shoulder convulsively as Sirius spasmed around him.

Still dazed, shuddering and trembling from his climax, Sirius barely registered that Remus was still hard when he pulled out of him. He was aware, however, of the hot flesh being pushed against his parted lips as Remus straddled his shoulders. He didn't even need to hear Remus' breathless order to, "Suck it", to know what was desired from him. Trying not to think about where this particular part of Remus had just been, he quickly enveloped the head in his mouth, lapping and sucking at the hard flesh. His eyes widened in surprise. It was sweet...and minty. He choked back a laugh and pulled away.

"Moony, you taste like a candy cane!"

Remus laughed with him, gently running a thumb along Sirius' reddened bottom lip as his eyes gazed down at him.

"Then show me how much you love candy canes".

Sirius grinned in compliance and sucked the heated length back into his mouth, unable to help the gag as it hit the back of his throat. However, Remus' aroused, fond gaze encouraged him to continue and he sucked and licked enthusiastically at the cock in his mouth. He sucked at every part of it, making sure that there was none of the minty stickiness remaining on the sensitive flesh before he drew the whole thing back into his mouth and swallowed. Remus let out a feral groan, flexing his hips forward as his eyes burned into Sirius' and the bitter come spurted down Sirius' throat. Sirius swallowed quickly, gasping to catch his breath as Remus pulled out of his mouth. He wasn't allowed long though as Remus crawled back down his body so they were flush against each other as he kissed him. Their tongues slid lazily against each other, exploring, tasting, thanking the other for their respective fantastic jobs.

Remus pulled back, gently nuzzling his nose against Sirius' temple as he burrowed down into the couch beside him to curl against his side.

"You know, I think I could really get used to this Christmas thing", Sirius murmured sleepily, grinning dazedly as he wrapped his arms around his nuzzling, dozing flatmate.

Then there was squirming, rustling as Remus reached down and dug into his pocket for his wand. A sleepy charm later and the unpleasant stickiness all over their bodies was gone. Then another charm and the candy cane was hanging back on the tree. Sirius let out a bark of laughter. Returning chuckles tickled against his cheek and neck as the perverted werewolf snuggled closer, rapidly falling asleep. It seemed obscene to Sirius that the last thing before he fell asleep was the innocently twinkling lights of the tree as they cast a gentle glow on the giant candy cane whose colour was now slightly faded.

Poor James never did quite recover after Sirius told him the next day exactly why he should put the giant candy cane down immediately.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I almost feel sorry for James. Almost.

Soooo, ahem. ^_^; Squick or no? Admit it, you animals loved it.

PS: Flamers may suck my dick.

Belated Merry Christmas to you all! ;)


End file.
